Mother guilt?

Several months ago my very dear friend sent me an email that said something like "I don't know if and when we will come back to live in Australia and I want you to come and visit me in May 2011 for two weeks".
That got me thinking.
Kate has lived in Chicago for a few years now and has suggested I visit on more than one occasion, but I have always brushed it off assuming it was not really do-able for many reasons. When she got specific, a little 'why not' thought entered my head. Kate's question coincided with a friend of mine getting told her cancer can't be cured- so I was in a bit of a different 'head space' and willing to entertain possibilities that I hadn't before. When confronted with the possibility of the death of a friend (who is going okay, I should mention) the question of 'what is important' comes up regularly.
My family is really important to me (for some lovely reading about family read Kate's blog post). Why would I leave them to go half way round the world?

That has been the question that's been really hard to answer in the the decision process- amongst many others- hmm, do you get the sense I am not a swift decision maker? Well. I have been too-ing and fro-ing since Kate asked me and guess what- I have decided to go. As I was thinking about it I got offered an extra day a week work for 12 weeks, so that will pay for my ticket so that's the financial bit largely sorted.

But, oh, the questions raised- besides the 'should I be contributing to polluting the world by participating in the airline industry' ethical ones, the personal ones.

Do I 'deserve' this? Would this mean I am a 'bad mother'? Should I feel guilty? And all of that marlarky- not all of it helpful but really interesting to see what feelings and thoughts it has bought up for me.

Gee, and guess what I have remembered? I like travelling, I like planes, I love my friend Kate (not that I had forgotten that Kate!) and I can't wait to visit her and her family and I will also get to visit my cousin (in law)  Natasha who has promised to take me to her 'locals' (fabric stores of course, not pubs- priorites!). I am enjoying thinking about my trip and planning it. Dare I say, getting a tad excited! It's a shift in thinking for me- rather than thinking about myself in terms of my home roles or work roles (which I pride myself on)  I am thinking about just, well, me. Slightly uncomfortable because I am possibly not used to putting my needs and wants high on the priority list. But, I am really looking forward to remembering that, hey, I can negotiate an international airport- I do have skills other than those that have been regularly practiced over the past 10 years.

And my family? They will be alright. I am vey lucky that Mr. Apple works on the farm so he often walks down to the bus stop with the children and gets them aften school- gosh, he's the preferred parent for afternoon tea preparation because he makes the best milkshakes. So the day to day running of the place wont change that much. I will really miss them and they will miss me, but we'll all be okay. They will become abit more resilient, I will become abit less of a control freak (!) and hopefully we'll all be the richer for it upon my return.

Pay it forward and aren't I lucky!

Look what turned up in my mailbox a few weeks ago- a fantastic neck cowl and fingerless mittens, crocheted beautiful (one of those skills I admire so much and am yet to master- or even umm, close to master!) with special wool (the details of which I don't have on me at the moment- sorry Mary- feel free to add in the comments if you want) and let me tell you these are a fantastic addition to the morning 'bus stop' walk with my kids because this Winter has been rather nippy at times.

 Ages ago I signed up for Mary's 'Pay it forward'- that basically meant that I said 'yes please' when she offered to make something for two of her blog readers- she bent the rules for me, because at the time, I didn't have a blog and I am willing to bend the rules too- so feel free to comment if you don't have a blog (assuming you agree to the rest of the 'rules'!)

Thanks so much Mary, I feel thoroughly spoilt and I am the appreciative recipient of your skillful work.

I will send three people who leave a comment on this post a handmade gift within the next 365 days- if there are more than 3 comments I will draw three numbers randomly on the 14th September- that gives people a few days to comment.

I am willing to post anywhere in the world, so don't let that stop you commenting.

The catch is that you have to have a blog (or choose 3 people to make something for) and be willing to do the same thing....

So if you'd like to participate, then leave me a comment and make sure to leave me a valid email address so that I can contact you for your address, etc.PLEASE also tell me who you would like the gift to be for eg. your daughter/son/yourself/whoever and their age/size if applicable this will help me figure out what to make!

So if you're game then go ahead and comment!

(Most of this was copied off Mary's blog, who copied it off Peta's blog!)

 

 

Excess limes= cordial for summer.

Feeling very organised and happy about minimising wasting fruit.
On an unrelated topic (well, still food, actually), I did a Vietnamese cooking class last week- it was SO FUN, I loved it. So I have grabbed some kaffir lime leaves off the tree, picked some coriander and lemongrass from the garden (and bought a whole lot of stuff from the Asian food store!) and am heading down to make my dad a banquet for lunch. He's excited but I don't think he realises the quantities of ginger and 'scented things' (his words) I am planning to use...

Busy bees

There is a bee in there- gathering pollen to go back and make honey out of, which we will havest in Autumn. The beautiful poppies in my garden are multifunctional - I love it!

You know what else I think is amazing?

This is going to turn into a peach.

Hooray for Spring, and it actually feels quite Spring like today- apparently there are flood warnings for the weekend though. I will enjoy the blue sky and sunshine while it's there!

By the way, in case you were wondering, I have so much to talk about and our computer is fixed (fingers crossed it stays fixed!) so I will be back before you know it for a bit of show and tell!